South Island Club Rugby Plumbs New Depths

July 24^th: A Nelson Rugby Club player requires reconstructive surgery after being punched in a game against Motueka.

July 27^th: A Central Otago referee was punched at the end of a game between Crescent & Strath Tairei held in Middlemarch.  

Makes me cringe every-time I now hear “Rugby is our national sport”.  

Another stellar week for N.Z Rugby N.Z Inc

On-field strangulation

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Man, in hospital over the weekend after a serious assault in a Dunedin Rugby Club

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Don’t worry people.

This is perfectly normal behaviour for Kiwi men.

Young men blowing-off steam. 

Or so we are old verbatim by N.Z Rugby.   

Post-Match All-In Brawl in New Plymouth

When I indicate all-in, I mean all-in.

Players, management, executive members of the clubs and supporters all 'got amongst it' in a post-match brawl in New Plymouth.

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I half expected their dogs & kids to be front & centre as well.

Probably chained & locked-up at home that day.  

 "We have made a stand that violence in our game is unacceptable” is what Taranaki Rugby Union have had to say.

Unacceptable, but an all-too-normal occurrence around the country’s parks, when it comes to rugger.

Wellington Lions & Ex Hurricanes player seen snorting ecstasy on social media video

Where did this happen?

One report suggests a Wellington rugby club, silly-billy.

Hutt Old Boys Marist to be exact.

Off?

A century old sporting shield.

Rugby people love their traditions.

What shit are we talking?

MDMA.

That’s ecstasy to most folk.

Surely, the player involved will be banned?

Rugby authorities in N.Z take incidents like this very seriously.

The offender, James O'Reilly, can’t play for a hefty…..drum-roll…..two weeks!

Details.

N.Z Rugby is Homophobic? You gotta be kidding me!

It’s early days on this 2^nd alleged Cape Town incident The Crusaders players were involved-in over two weekends.

That’s right, the holy-than-though rugby franchise with a culture 2^nd to none.

Two incidents in two weekends. 

Good going, even by N.Z Rugby standards. 

The security footage from McDonalds that night will prove or disprove whether this"physically intimidating" behaviour occurred as stated.

Or it’s just a selfie gone wrong?

If it’s the former, All Black George Bridge’s World Cup may be over before he puts his boots on.

It’s also nice to see how much support there is for the potential victim of the alleged incident.

N.Z Rugby fans have peppered his Instagram page with abuse!

That will hearten his resolve one thinks. 

Boorish Drunken Behaviour from Crusaders & All Black player Richie Mo'unga in S.A

Boy oh boy, what a memorable tour The Crusaders have had to The Republic of S.A.

Read, what the local media terms as ‘Fresh Allegations’.  

Inappropriate touching is a euphemistic term for groping.   

Spitting beer at people?

Animalistic. 

Surely, this can’t be a player from the rugby franchise which considers itself to have a sporting culture above even The Vatican’s Sunday Soccer team.

 "I'm really sorry for that I'm not aware that I did that. Obviously was intoxicated and should've gone home long before that stage, I'm sorry to you and your friends and want to assure you I don't condone that behaviour and am sorry about that"  

Now, is this the reply of someone facing a false allegation, simple case of mistaken identity? 

N.Z Rugby players and management have made understatements like this into an art form.

They have the benefit of heaps of experience, I guess.   

Should I mention that Richie Mo'unga is also an All Black?

Or, is that just taken as a given?  

Here's a suggestion for the sport.

Why not instigate a Rugby Respect and Inclusion project? 

French Court hears how 45 Test All Black Physically & Mentally Abused his wife

Evidently all Kiwi’s want their sons to grow-up to be an All Black in the mold of Carl Hayman.

They breed them tough in Otago. 

See look. 

Who wouldn’t want to have a son like him, eh?

Go weak at the knees at the thought of your daughter marrying a bloke like 'Hard-Man Haymam'?  

Hell, if you play it right you could get The New Zealand Women’s Weekly to pay you ‘an undisclosed amount’ for the wedding day photos.

They can do wonders these-days disguising bruises.